Stats:

Movie:
Volcano

Stars:
Anne Heche
Tommy Lee Jones

Date: 1997

Bottom Line:
Movie has no passing relationship with reality. Makes a great comedy, Unfortunately, it's a drama.

Volcano

Actually, this movie makes a great comedy if you and your friends are up to the task of jeering at the film while it plays. Unfortunately, everyone associated with this film thought it was a drama.

What more can I say about a movie whose premise is that a volcano destroys LA? Yes, Los Angeles is famous for being situated on top of some pretty nasty earthquake faults, NONE of which are caused by volcanic activity, let alone the fact that none of the mountains in Southern California were created by volcanic activity. But hey, don't let any of these real life facts get in the way of making this movie! My favorite scene in this movie is the one where the Jersey Barriers are used to stop the flow of lava. Yeah, right. Jersey Barriers are the 3-foot tall highway dividers that are used to separate on-coming traffic from each other so that drivers can avoid head-on crashes. They do a great job of that, but cement doesn't hold up to flowing lava. It's kind of like playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. Lava is the Rock, while the Jersey Barriers are scissors.

I also liked the idea that the large, fluffy ash puffs fall AFTER the lava flows. Generally, it's the other way around. I also appreciated how easy if was for everyone to see and move about through the ash fallout. As a survivor of the Mount St. Helens fallout in 1980, I personally know what this is supposed to look like & trust me, this ain't it. True ash fallout changes day to night, cuts visibility to less than 12 feet and contains glass fibers which when inhaled, can mess up your lungs. I also enjoyed all of the people hanging out usually 3-feet away from the flowing lava. None of whom look like they're slightly warm or having problems breathing due to the toxic gasses and/or ash fibers that are emitted from volcanoes when they erupt.

Ok kids, to sum up what's wrong with Volcano:
· No healthy relationship to reality.
· No evidence that anyone associated with the film ever passed any basic science course in their lives, beginning with their kindergarten science courses.
· No one associated with this film seems to have lived on the planet Earth during their lifetimes.
· No research into volcanoes, volcanic activity, geological properties of the Los Angeles basin, or human behavior.
· Stupid dialogue.
· Stupid movie.